


The Last Bite

by Pinky_GOOLI002



Series: The Bite Series [7]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Amnesia, Apocalypse, Character Death, Character Turned Into Vampire, Chases, Death, F/F, F/M, Food is People, Gen, Half-Vampires, Human Farms, Human/Vampire Relationship, Inspired by Mad Max Series (Movies), M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, On the Run, Original Character Death(s), Other, Post-Apocalypse, Relationship Problems, Self-Discovery, Temporary Amnesia, Vampire Bites, Vampire Family, Vampire Hunters, Vampire Sex, Vampire Turning, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23493994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinky_GOOLI002/pseuds/Pinky_GOOLI002
Summary: Calvin wakes up to find he doesn't remember anything, except for the innate understanding of what it means to be a vampire. But he has to learn that instincts aren't always useful, and he has to learn fast, or he will lose everyone before getting to know them, especially his mate. In this world where resources are scarce, vampires have finally regained control. Some are economical, and farm humans like chickens, whilst some try and be more humane, whereas some vampires have elected to abandon humans as a food resource altogether and turned on their own kind. But through this journey, Calvin will reconnect with people he thought he lost, and kindle new relationships.
Series: The Bite Series [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665790
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Everything hurt. Everything was stiff and painful, but there was something sweet on my lips, something cold and metallic, and I instinctively licked it. Then there was more, someone poured it into my mouth, and I swallowed, and with each swallow came a flash of images, of emotions, but they were torn apart, like a jumble of many broken records. Then after a couple of sips, the pain started to ease, and finally I found the strength to reach out and take the bottle from whoever held it, and downed the remaining liquid. When I finished I still felt horrible and stiff, but at least I had some… strength. At least enough to open my eyes and wipe my mouth.

Before me was a male, with bright brown eyes and mousy black hair. He was… so thin, and white pale… a vampire. Yes that was it. He was a vampire, and I was certain because he was crying, and his tears were red. Blood. That was it! He was crying blood, and I just drank some blood… because I was a vampire too.

“Oh thank god. You’re awake!” He exclaimed, wiping away his tears, then leaned in, as if to kiss me.

I instinctively growled, pushing him away. My fangs were already at their full length, but at this threat of him invading my personal space, I could feel my face shift, and I remembered that this feeling must mean my eyes were now black, and dark purple veins were stretching out from around them on my face - my true vampire face revealed.

“Cal…?” He looked at me with such confusion, such hurt that I had to look away. I looked around, instincts kicking in, checking for an exit. I was in some sort of concrete room, with bare walls and floor and a low ceiling. There was only one exit: a set of stairs leading upwards. There were no windows or anything, but me and this vampire weren’t the only ones here. There were two other vampires in the room, a short tiny redheaded female, and a average brown female, with her hair platted behind her back. Three against one… this was not a fight I could win. But… why was I trying to run again?

As I kept looking at these vampires I realised all their expressions were the same; worried and anxious.

“What…” I started to say, but then realised I didn’t really know what to ask.

The male looked behind him to the redhead, and I tensed, again ready to flee.

“It’s okay, you’re safe.” The other female, who was still looking at me, must have noticed me tensing, as she reassured me.

That voice… all these faces… they felt familiar, but yet, I couldn’t place any of it.

“Cal what are you doing? It’s me… Jeffrinn…” the male said gently, and inched closer to me again. Hearing his voice stirred something in me, something deep in my soul. But still, nothing, not a single strand of memory to connect it to. I flinched away from his hand as he tried to touch my arm, hissing.

He drew back, and as I looked at his face his eyes started tearing up again.

“Cal… please, its me… don’t you recognise me? I know you’re hungry… and hurt… but… I’m your mate, you know I’ll never hurt you.” His voice was shaking, as he sat there in front of me on his heels, his arm half stretched towards me.

I shook my head, pushing myself against the wall, as far away from all of them. I closed my eyes as hard as I could, and grabbed my head as it started to throb.

Something was wrong… something was wrong.

The pain escalated suddenly, and without any warning, I fell back into the black I woke from as I fainted.

The next time I woke up there was a pillow beneath my head, and as soon as I knew I was awake I knew there was a human in the room.

I was in the same concrete room, and the male from before… Jeffrinn, he wasn’t there anymore. Instead only the brown skinned female was there, sitting next to my head. But I didn’t care about her. All I knew was that there was this man, this human, sleeping across the room under a dirty blanket.

I got to my feet immediately, intending to get my prey before he could wake up, but as soon as I stood the pain rushed back into my head, and I fell right back down to the floor - face first.

Except my face didn’t hit the floor. The female managed to catch me, and held me up right.

“Steady there pal… take it slow…” she said, holding me until the room came back into focus and I could stand on my own again. “I know you’re hungry, just let me help you get there in one piece.”

I didn’t argue, I was too damn hungry to argue. But by the time we got to the man, he was stirring awake, and I got nervous, ready to bite him before he could run away from me. But to my total confusion, the vampire held me back, one arm across my chest. I looked to her, confused as to why she would help me get here, but not let me bite him.

“Respect your own coffer. Biting him while he’s asleep is rude… you taught me that.”

I was too hungry to try and understand her, and before I could question what she was saying the man looked up, seemed to recognise me.

“Oh! Calvin, I’m so glad,” he yawned, and I tried to pounce, but I was too weak against the arms holding me, so all that happened was that my true face came out and I growled at her with everything I had.

_LET ME EAT_! I thought, but it was too animalistic for words.

“I waited down here in case you were too hungry…” the man said hesitantly, again giving me that look of worry and pity. Why did everyone seem to look at me that way? But he sat up and exposed his neck, and the female finally let me go.

I grabbed his shoulder with one hand, and his neck with the other, holding it out as I bit down as hard as I could.

Images flowed as I drank, and I… saw… Calvin… I saw… me? Was this me? Tall, broad shoulders, light brown hair… a vampire this human respected, trusted… I saw through the human’s eyes —Klaus’s eyes— this Calvin walking with a confident air, shouting commands. Then I saw a hurricane, and people shouting, running and-

I was pulled away by force from Klaus, and the shock was so disorienting I fell back on the floor. As I looked up I saw the female grab Klaus gently and lick his neck until the wound I caused closed, and I realised I was very close to hurting him.

“I’m… Calvin… aren’t I?” I asked her quietly, as I pushed myself to seat up. After this… small meal, I felt much, much better, even though my head still throbbed and hurt as I moved.

She sighed, and l placed the unconscious Klaus down gently and covered him again with his blanket.

“You don’t remember anything do you? Not even who you are?” She whispered, and looked back at me, her eyes shining with… sorrow. Her emotion confused me even more.

I put a hand at the side of my head, “I… no… I don’t remember anything past… the last time I woke up in this room.”

She closed her eyes, as if stopping herself from getting overcome with emotions. “That’s what I thought…”

She stood up, and stretched a hand out to me, to pull me up.

Still confused as to why she prevented me from hurting Klaus, and feeling slightly less stiff after feeding, I decided to get up by myself. It took me way too long, and she shook her head as she let her arm drop to her side.

“I’m Astra, Astra Steele. One of the four vampires in our… clan, if you want to call it that… one of the people living in this compound… a place… you helped set up.” She paused and shook her head, “I’m getting the order all wrong.” She took a deep breath to steady herself, then looked me in the eyes again.

“You are Calvin Lyne. You’re a vampire, if you didn’t gather that so far. You’re one of the strongest I know. Probably the strongest here… which is why you ended up getting hurt the worst…” she looked away, “I’m sorry, this is harder than I thought it would be.”

I shifted my weight from side to side, embarrassed and confused. I started to piece things together.

Something must have happened, where I got hurt… and that meant that I couldn’t remember anything from before. I wasn’t behaving the way that all these people who knew me expected me to behave, and it hurt them. Before I woke up, they thought I was going to die… and now they weren’t so sure I didn’t. I wasn’t so sure either. If I was never going to remember… the person they knew was as good as dead. So of course they were all upset.

“I’m not… I’m not what you were expecting.” I said, looking down.

Just then, I heard feet rushing down the stairs, and the male from before —Jeffrinn he said his name was —rushed into the room.

He was scrawny, and tall, and he didn’t even look around the room. As soon as he walked in he looked straight to me. His eyes gave a sweep, and relief flooded his face. He ran to me, and before I could stop him he grabbed me in his arms, and buried his face in my chest.

I was only a hand taller than him, but I was broader, and it was obvious from his physique that he has done this millions of times before.

“Um… Jeff…” Astra mumbled awkwardly.

“Cal-“ he started as he looked up at me, but the second his eyes met mine he froze. He was expecting a different expression. He was expecting me to know him… to recognise him… to feel comfortable being this near him… But I just wasn’t. I couldn’t.

“Jeffrinn… it seems that Calvin doesn’t remember anything beyond yesterday…” Astra said gently from behind him. 

“I’m sorry…” I said hesitantly, and just stood there.

“Don’t you dare apologise.” He growled straight into my face, and from his smell I knew he was old and powerful, so I tried to get away from his embrace, instinctively scared. But he was stronger, and he didn’t let go.

“You have to remember, it’ll just take you a some time, some encouragement, I’m sure.” He said adamantly, squeezing my tighter.

“Jeffrinn, stop! Give him space. Look at him! You’re scaring him.” Astra stepped closer, but she too was younger and weaker than him, and she didn’t dare physically engage.

He looked at my face again, and as if he was electrocuted, he let go of me at once and stepped back. Finally free, I hurried back more until I was out of his reach.

“Cal? don’t… don’t you remember me at all?” He asked, obviously stopping himself from coming near me again.

I shook my head, and tried to think of how I could run out of this room.

“But you have to remember… I’m your mate…” he paused, but when I looked at him blankly he kept going, more desperately with each breath “I’m still your mate… I can feel it, that hasn’t changed… that bond is still there… can’t you feel it?” He was stepping closer to me with each statement, and I let him get closer this time, until he stood within reach again, and placed a hand on my chest, as I held my breath.

Again something rattled within me, as if he didn't just put a hand on my chest, but on my very heart. He was undoubtedly right. I couldn’t remember what being a mate meant, but I knew that something in every fibre of my being was connected to him… belonged to him. And that he belonged to me too. I could feel this chain, this bond between us, as if he just pulled on it and shook it until the vibrations reached every foundation of me.

“I… I can feel it.” I whispered, my voice shaking, and as I looked into his eyes, and saw the relief in his face, that bond tried to pry the memories of him… of us… out.

But there was nothing to awaken. The memories were just not there. And the force of the pull was so strong it made me gasp as the pain hit my skull.

I pulled away from him, turning away, holding my head. I felt dizzy again, and I stumbled a couple of steps until I leaned against the wall.

“I can’t. I can’t” I gasped, feeling almost as if I was going to throw up.

“Cal? What’s wrong? Cal?” He was next to me again, but didn’t touch me this time. “Calvin talk to me please! Let me help!” He was almost crying.

I let myself slide down to the floor, until I sat against the wall again. “I can’t remember… everything… its just… empty…” I tried to steady my breath, “when I try and find anything… any memories… it just… it hurts… it hurts too much… I can’t.” I gasped again and covered my face with my hands. I wanted to hard to please him, this man that obviously cared for me, my mate.

But I couldn’t. Something was broken in me, something was so fucked up that it felt like I was going to… die again.

“shh… its okay, just breath, it will be fine, you don’t have to try, its okay if you cant.” Astra said gently, and I realised she was to my side. Jeffrinn was crouching to my other side, a hand hovering, almost touching my shoulder, silent and obviously upset and concerned. Astra’s words calmed me, and I slowly settled down again as the pain eased.

Finally Jeffrinn decided to put his hand on my shoulder, and this time I let him. I tried not to think of the feeling of his touch, not to let it stir me, but just to let it be.

“Are you still hungry? You obviously have a lot to heal…” Astra asked finally, looking towards the unconscious Klaus. “I’m sure Peter will be happy to help a little… if you can be… responsible.”

I looked at Klaus, and genuinely confused. Why had Astra stopped me killing him in the first place. “You… You said he is… Calvin's coffer…” I was somehow uncomfortable assuming the name, this identity that I just didn’t fit at the moment. “You mean he…” I couldn’t find the words. I felt like I knew what she meant by coffer, just like I could remember all the other words we were using, but… I wasn’t sure I understood. My vampire nature, unleashed without any memory of humanity, was saying in my gut that if I was going to eat, I might as well drain them dry.

“He is your coffer.” Jeffrinn said, almost aggressively, “he’s been feeding you for seven years almost. Since you saved his life from another group of vampires. Just like you saved Astra, and Clair—” Jeffrinn drew in a sharp breath, and I realised he was crying again, “You practically saved everyone here at least once.”

“So have you, Jeff.” Astra cut in, “I know you’re upset right now, but Calvin doesn’t deserve your guilt.” She was practically baring her fangs at him, “he needs space, he needs time to heal. The more you push him the worse you’re making it… for everyone.”

Jeffrinn wiped his eyes, “sorry,” he mumbled to me, “I just thought it… might help…”

“If all he needed was to hear some stories to jigg his memory, he would have remembered by now.” Astra growled.

“We don’t know that. What if there’s some trigger that’s related to—“ he stopped himself mid sentence. Then forced his eyes shut and stood up.

“I’m sorry,” I interjected, “I realise that I must’ve gotten hurt somehow… you don’t have to hide it. Hearing about things that have happened to me doesn’t… hurt… there’s nothing to connect them to, it’s just like hearing stories about… someone else.”

“Did… did I hurt you?” Jeffrinn’s face was contorted with so much emotion, but his voice was so quiet, only a vampire could hear him.

I closed my eyes again, “the… mating bond, I guess… it pulled too hard… I tried too hard…” I looked up at him, “to remember you…” my eyebrows were knotted together, as I fumbled with my hands. This must be so painful for him, I can’t blame him for being angry with me. “but if I don’t try to find anything… thinking about it in itself is fine.”

He just nodded, and looked away, wiping his face again.

“Can you tell me what happened? Please?” I had no context for all of these emotions they were displaying, and the way they were expecting me to react emotionally too. But I couldn’t. I didn’t have any reaction except for confusion and fear, my survival instincts rushing in to tell me to protect myself.

And if I wanted to protect myself, I should know what happened to bring me here to begin with.

Jeffrinn looked back at Astra, and they exchanged a look of worry before looking back at me. Then he looked towards the stairs, the exit, shifting his weight, before he sighed and started to speak.

“The dead sisterhood… they… they’re a large gang of vampires, and we were trying to distract them, make them head away from here… And a couple of them got a hold of you…” he paused and looked to me, and his cheeks were already covered with his blood from his tears. “They almost drained you…” his voice broke, “until me and Piper managed to fight them off and bring you home.” 

I shivered. The thought of another vampire drinking my blood… seeing my memories as they stole my essence. It was repulsive. The thought of ever doing that to another vampire was gross. How could they do that to me?

“Why?” I asked.

“Why?” They both looked said at the same time, then exchanged a look.

“That’s part of what they do… It’s their way of dominating, of taking territory. If they drain the vampires they kill they grow stronger as well as get rid of competition. It’s why they’re able to be so big. Most vampires join them to avoid being eaten too.” Astra said, not with disgust in her eyes, but with fear.

I shook my head, if they managed to pin me down to bite me I should be dead. Staying alive while knowing that someone else had taken parts of me was revolting. But… I couldn’t remember any of those memories that they had seen. So maybe it wasn’t so bad… if I was still here… maybe my blood was strong enough to deal with that, so it was not so shameful after all.

“Are you still hungry?” Jeffrinn asked, “I’m sure Peter will offer some to help you heal.”

I was in fact, very, very hungry, but his wording baffled me.

“Offer?” I asked, looking between Astra and Jeffrinn, but before either of them could answer someone rushed down the stairs.

“Jeffrinn!” A young, rounded faced woman ran in, but before she managed to breath out another word I was already across the room, my fangs out, reaching out to grab her.

She was so slow, she didn’t even get to see me before Astra had run between us, grabbed me around the waist and tackled me back. She was almost twenty centimetres shorter than me, only reaching my chin, so realistically it was the only way for her to stop me. I had eaten now, and even though I was weak and hungry, she could barely win against my strength and momentum.

But she had speed on her side, as well as being much more aware of her actions than me. I was operating purely on instincts, whereas it was obvious she was a practiced fighter.

So before the human even had a chance to blink, I was pinned down face up on the floor, with Astra straddling me and holding my arms down.

I growled and hissed in her face, but her dark eyes didn’t shake, there was only determination in her face. Dark veins were sprawling around her eyes, and her fangs were exposed, but her eyes were still human, not taken over by the black like mine. She was in control.

Then the human shrieked, jumping and turning to face us as she noticed what has happened.

“Clair? What’s wrong?” Jeffrinn was next to her, a hand on her shoulder for reassurance, and when she turned to face him I could see and smell her relax.

I stopped struggling against Astra as I watched my mate. What was he doing? He was protective… warm towards her.

But she was human…

“Uhh, I’m sorry to… interrupt, but we need help upstairs to pack. Piper just came back from a quick scout and said the dead sisterhood were only a day or so away by wheels… they’re coming this way after all…” The girl, Clair, was breathing hard, and I could smell the terror, could hear her heart racing.

It was delicious, and I groaned with hunger, resuming my attempt to get out of Astra’s grip.

“God, you’re like a baby that was just turned.” She huffed, and then leaned in so her face was inches away from mine as her eyes turned black, showing me her true shape. Now her strength made sense. “Well, the thing about babies, is that no matter how much raw strength they have, they don’t know how to control it.” She grinned, baring her fangs, “You can wriggle all you want Cal, you’re not getting out.”

I roared, with frustration, with contempt. Why was she stopping me from eating?!

Clair shrieked, but I didn’t take my eyes off of Astra’s.

~ _Astra was face down in the dirt, her clothes ripped to shreds, and her skin with it. I had one knee on the small of her back, one hand gripping her wrist, the other digging my nails into her neck._

_“Come on big guy! Do it already!” She wailed, a cry of defiance, of defeat. She was shaking from exhaustion._

_I leaned down close, until my lips were near her ear. “Is that what you really want? To end it?”~_

The images and sounds enveloped me, pulling me back completely to that moment. But as soon as they came, they were gone again. I gasped as a sharp pain accompanied my return to reality, and my face returned to its human form.

Astra noticed, and retreated her face further from mine, though she still held both my wrists down.

“Cal?” Astra’s eyebrows knotted.

“Clair go upstairs. Ask Peter to come down.” Jeffrinn pushed Clair towards the stairs, “tell him it’s urgent. We’ll pack quicker once Cal has he’s strength back.”

The pain eased quickly, and once my head cleared enough, I managed to say “I… I’m usually the one on top.”

I wanted to smile, to tease her like she just teased me, but I was still so shocked from the memory itself, and the fact that I could now recollect it at will. Even though it was such a short memory, it was huge in the massive blackness in my head when I tried to think of anything before today.

But I had no context for that piece of memory. No clue when it happened or what had happened before or after it. Having recollected anything at all in itself was such a relief, but also frustrating, reminding me _how_ much I just didn’t remember.

“What did you remember?” She asked gently, even though she was showing no intention of letting me go.

“I… I was pinning you down into dirt… you were drained…” I shook my head, “I asked you if you really wanted to die…” I met her eyes again, and saw her face full of tenderness. “Then… that’s it… that’s all I can remember… its not much…”

“It might not be much, but it’s definitely something,” she smiled, and finally let me go and stood up, letting me sit up.

“After that, you let me live…and you let me stay. After all I did was run in and try and hurt you. You gave me a chance.” She extended me a hand, offering me help to stand for the second time today, though this time it somehow… meant more.

I tried to follow her words and the memory, to remember it for myself.

But nothing came.

It was still nice to know some context to that memory. So I took her hand and stood up.

I noticed Jeffrinn then, looking at us with a complex expression, relief, pain, envy. I couldn’t fully understand it, and I definitely didn’t understand what the emotions were in response to.

“This is a good sign.” He smiled, and his whole face changed, the wrinkles around his eyes showing from time he spent in the sun as he grew up. Something in my heart moved at that face, at seeing my mate fully smile. But it felt strange. Like that memory of Astra, this emotion to Jeffrinn felt disconnected from anything I understood, and almost felt as if it came from an external source to me, rather than me truly feeling it.

“See Astra? I was right, we just need to help him remember.” He grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes, begrudgingly accepting she was wrong.

“Next time he behaves like a baby it’s your turn to put him under control.” She crossed her hands over her chest, and walked up the stairs. She glanced over her shoulder, and for a brief moment we made eye contact, just before she disappeared from view.

Jeffrinn came until he was half a step away, then he just leaned forward and rested his forehead on my chest.

I was still just so confused and rattled, that I just didn’t know how to react, and decided to do nothing at all, and just… let him do whatever that he was going to do.

It was strange to admit it, but having him close felt good, like finally something in my bones relaxed. This is the vampire I was meant to be with, the one to fight beside, to rest beside, to drink with…

But I didn’t know him, I had no idea what were the reasons I trusted him. So far he had shown nothing I understood beside the mating bond itself. I felt like I was supposed to understand him, to know him so well I knew what he was going to do at any given moment. It felt wrong to be relaxed next to someone I couldn’t predict.

“I’m so relieved you’re alright. I-“ his voice broke, “I couldn’t live if you had died.” He paused for a moment longer, still not moving, so I couldn’t see his face, but I could smell the fact that he was crying again. 

“I love you.” He said finally, then looked up and met my eyes, “I love you so much Calvin,” I looked away, uncomfortable with his gaze, but I didn’t want to move further from him. 

“I hope you’ll remember that soon, but until then I’ll have to remind you.” He whispered, then sighed deeply and wiped his face. “God! I need to stop wasting blood like this.” He chuckled, and smiled sadly as I finally managed to look back at his face, and I awkwardly smiled back.


	2. Chapter 2

I was instantly distracted by the sound of feet coming down the concrete stairs, and the smell of blood. It was an older man this time, with a worn thin face and many burn scars. I started to step towards him, but before I finished my first step Jeffrinn grabbed my wrist fully in his hand. 

“Whoa there,” he said, as if I was a horse. 

I looked down to his grip, then up to his face, my true face out already.

“I know you’re hungry. But if you don’t calm down and start respecting everyone I’m going to have to collar you. And trust me that is not a pleasant experience.”

“let. me. go.”

“No.”

The human, I assumed this was Peter, cleared his throat loudly, and we both snapped our attention to him, but he wasn’t startled like I expected.

“What’s going on? I assume Calvin is hungry…” Peter was middle aged, wish shaved head, and a clear attitude of someone who is busy.

“He is, and is behaving like a lunatic because of it.” Jeffrinn said, and I hissed at him in response.

Peter then noticed Klaus, unconscious under his blanket, and frowned, but before he said anything Jeffrinn cut in.

“Calvin is having a bit of a memory loss, but we need everyone to be in their best shape… please Peter, I know you don’t like it, but Cal really needs it right now, I’m sure once he’s got his senses back he’ll apologise for this behaviour.”

I blinked, shocked, and surprisingly hurt by his words. How can he say that? Talking like I’m not even here… I might not remember much, but he’s supposed to be my mate, how can he think of me so poorly, just because I don’t have my memory, just because I’m acting on my vampire instincts.

Peter sighed, nodded, and started to walk towards us before I even finished processing what Jeffrinn said. But then the smell of his blood, and his beating heart so close by, distracted me, and I was enveloped by it as he stepped close. I didn’t even realised Jeffrinn had let go of my wrist until I realised I held Peter with both of my hands. Naturally, I cradled Peter’s neck with one hand, and held his opposite shoulder with the other. This way I could easily expose his neck and hold him exactly as I wanted, even if he tried to move. 

This man’s reaction was completely different to Klaus earlier. Klaus welcomed me, relaxed as soon as I held him, leaned on me. But Peter tensed, ironically trying to maintain the distance between us as I leaned in. He even flinched when I bit down, but of course, as soon as I started drinking, as soon as my venom got into his veins, he sighed and relaxed.

Memories, sensations and emotions rushed through with every drop of his blood, giving me a glimpse into his world… reminding me what it was like to be human, what it feels like to be… alive.

After all, I was dead, and had been dead for a long, long time. And this blood, it wasn’t just nourishing me, keeping me from turning into ash, it was truly, keeping me alive by reminding my body what it felt like.

Desperate for the feeling, desperate for the taste, in every fibre of my being, I tightened my grip, my hand slipping from Peter shoulder until it wrapped around his back, hugging his limp body to mine as I drained his essence, and my other hand gripped his neck so hard my nails dug into his skin. But I didn’t feel the blood wasting, dripping on my fingers. I was so enveloped in it, drowning every sense of my own in the blood I was drinking, that I didn’t even notice when hands tried to pry him out of my grip. I didn’t feel the nails scratching at my back and shoulders trying to pull me away. I couldn’t hear the shouting, or the screaming. All I was in that moment was Peter, as I took every bit of his blood. I was so deep in his memories that I didn’t consciously noticed when they started to grey, and float away as the stream of blood thinned, then stopped. Instead I sucked harder, trying to keep the feeling, trying to keep it going.

But there was nothing left in the end, and I was slowly pulled back into reality, realising I was hunched over on my knees, sucking at a very dry and dead body in my lap.

I blinked my eyes open and slowly pulled my nails out of his neck, out of his back, and rested the warm body on the cold concrete floor.

I drew in a breath, and forced myself to look up around me. As I sat up I realised that someone was leaning on my back. In fact they had scratched at me, resulting in my shirt being torn quite badly from the shoulders and throughout my back. It was the short red-headed vampire. Now, from Peter’s memories, I knew her name was Piper Longstaff. She was crying, her face, like her hands, covered in vampire blood, and now that I moved, she let herself fall to the floor and hug her knees to her chest and hide her face there.

Jeffrinn was seating on his knees on the other side of Peter to me, his hands also bloody resting palms up in his lap. To my surprise, he wasn’t crying. He just… stared at the body.

Astra was standing at the side of the room, Klaus, who had seemed to have woken, shaking in her arms. She looked straight at me, and I saw the rage burn so hard in her eyes I had to look away.

“What… What have you done?” Jeffrinn said quietly, finally tearing his hazel eyes from the body to look at me. He was as furious as Astra, but he had more emotions in his face, emotions I wasn’t sure I understood.

I looked down at Peter’s body. This man was here because he made a deal with this group of vampires, like all the other humans here. He agreed to let us feed on him, in turn for security, for safety. A chance to live here with us, with almost freedom, rather than trying to survive on his own in the wild desert, or letting himself be captured by another group, and held in worse conditions, conditions that he had survived through. A clear memory rose to the surface from everything I took, a horribly dark one, where he was in a room, on a metal bed, one in a row of many, with a tube leading off from his arm, draining him a little at the time into a bag. That dark room with no windows or air, filled with blood bags being filled.

He used to be a crop in a human farm. He spent years there, until…

Until Jeffrinn and I broke it down, and released everyone in there, offering them the chance to come with us and build something better…

I vividly saw myself through Peter’s eyes in that memory, soft and caring.

I shook my head as the current situation slowly dawned on me. Peter’s memories were fading fast, taking most of their knowledge with them. 

I locked eyes with Astra, and she nodded, as if agreeing with the terror I was feeling, as if I deserved it. So I looked away, only to find myself locking eyes with Jeffrinn, and freezing.

He was more than just angry. He was vengeful. I could see how his body tensed, as if he was about to pounce at me and tear me to shreds. And he probably could.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” I mumbled, finding myself scared of this vampire that was much older than I. Even if he was my mate.

My apology backfired, only triggering his anger, and with a roar, in an elegant leap he was on me, hands around my neck. We tumbled over backwards, over Piper, and rolled until he used his strength to end up on top of me, and he used all his strength to slam my head down, shattering the concrete.

The pain was intense, and for a second my vision went, when I could focus again, all I could see was Jeffrinn above me, panting, his eyes black and the blue veins covering more of his face than I ever seen.

“You don’t get to apologise for this,” his voice was no more than a growl, “you don’t get to apologise for killing someone we promised to protect.” His voice was getting louder and louder with each word, “You don’t get to apologise for dooming us!” His breath was erratic, and for a second I thought he was going to slam my head again, but then he leaned in until all I could see were his eyes, filling my vision like a black hole. “If we starve to death, it will be on your head.”

He got up then, and as he let go of my neck he swiped his nails against my cheek, like a slap, leaving three cuts that bled for a second before healing.

He then left without a word, taking Peter’s body with him.

I lay there in the little dent in the floor, staring at the ceiling, as I heard Astra take Klaus upstairs, as I heard Piper get herself up, curse at me, then leave. 

I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, I was confused, and hurt, and scared.

Even Peter’s memories of the apocalypse, of the dire situation that we were living through, didn’t seem to stop me from draining every drop of him. 

Why?

Why didn’t I stop? It was obviously important, both for survival and… emotionally. At least that’s what everyone seemed to be feeling.

So why didn’t I feel bad, even after seeing what Peter thought of me, and knowing that every human felt betrayed by what I did, that every vampire in this… apparent family of mine, was upset by it.

Why wasn’t I having an emotional reaction to it? I just… didn’t see the point. He was human, and he fed me. That was what he was meant for. That was what my body was saying.

Even though I saw it through Klaus’s and Peter’s memories. I still didn’t feel like I was… that person. I couldn’t remember those situations for myself, so somehow they didn’t feel like me. They felt like someone else.

The only reason I felt remorse is because it seemed that he was an important renewable resource. Like all these other humans, these coffers, they provided long term, but by keeping them alive, one human per vampire was not nearly enough.

And now, thanks to me, there was one less human to provide.

Then I heard someone come down the stairs, and I was going to ignore them like earlier, but her smell was so odd and familiar at the same time I found myself sitting up to look.

At the bottom of the stairs stood a woman with her long hair in two colours split in the middle. On the one side of her head it was a soft dark brown, and on the other it was vibrant gold, almost white blond. And to make her appearance even more strange, on the side of her face where her hair was blond her eye was a striking blue colour, whereas her other side was a dull grey. 

Those eyes… they were so familiar, like I’ve seen them forever. This, accompanied with her smell, that was not quite human, but not quite vampire, made me stare and pause.

_~I was seating next to her, surrounded by woods, in what seemed to be like midsummer. We were both toddlers, but she looked like a baby still. We were on a blanket, playing in the cool shade. She was playing with some wooden toy, and then got frustrated with it, and it broke. She started crying, wailing, and I looked at her for a second, then simply turned and hugged her. She wiped her tears on my shirt, and calmed down. Then we went back to playing.~_

“Hey…” now, grown up, she hesitated in front of me. But her eyes were exactly the same. She tucked her brown hair behind her ear and started to walk towards me, and I pushed myself to my feet, ready for her to attack me as Jeffrinn or Piper had.

She stopped mid-step, seeing my stance, and took a step backwards.

“I’m not here to hurt you, I came to check if you were alright…” she lifted her hands next to her face, showing me her empty palms.

“You’re… you’re not a vampire.” I said hesitantly. I wanted to ask her who she was, and why the hell I saw her, saw _us_ as babies. But I couldn’t… Somehow I was too afraid, even though I knew she was probably weaker than me.

Jeffrinn attacking me like he did shook me. He was my mate, and even if I didn’t know him, I knew that… so I trusted him.

But he thought I deserved to be hurt… thought I needed to be taught that lesson. And suddenly not having memories was scary, because I simply couldn’t understand his logic. Some of it, sure, but not all of it… not the emotion of it… not why it was an excuse to hurt his mate.

“No… I’m half-vampire.” She lowered her hands slowly, “My name is Robyn.” She stepped forward again, one hand stretched out, “It’s nice to meet you.”

I blinked, surprised at her reaction. Everyone else seemed to only want to tell me who I was, to act as if everything was normal. But she treated me like someone new, even though I obviously was not. It was… surprisingly reassuring. That on top of the feelings lingering from the memory I found of her, I couldn’t help but trust her, find… warm feelings, safe feelings.

I let my shoulders relax and shook her hand. She was warm, and I could hear her heart beat. But it beat slowly, only every minute or so, not like a human heart.

“I’m…” I paused. I still wasn’t comfortable saying it.

She smiled warmly, like she understood. Her expressions were so familiar. It was the first time any face seemed familiar, the first face that I felt like I actually could follow.

She let go of my hand, “do you remember any name? Yours or others?”

I shook my head, “I know Jeffrinn and Astra because they told me, and Peter, and Klaus, because I tasted it… and I think the redheaded little vampire is called Piper, but not because I can remember it.”

“Well, that’s alright, names are strange anyway,” she shrugged, “if you’re not comfortable using Calvin right now, you can pick something new.”

I blinked, surprised at her suggestion, but then shook my head again, “no… I don’t mind it.”

It was true, I was slowly getting used to it, but it was still strange.

“Well, that’s sure makes it easy then,” she paused then looked behind her towards the stairs.

“Wait, you said you were half-vampire. How… how does that work? You’re not… dead.”

She looked at me in surprise again, like she thought I knew already, but soon recovered, “I was born like this. My father was a vampire. Sullivan Lyne…” she paused for a second, as if waiting to see if I would react, but when I didn’t she continued, “He was your vampiric father. And my mother, she was human, and she was your mother too.”

“So… was I half-vampire too?”

“No!” She laughed, “no, you were an ordinary human, and you became a vampire like everyone does.”

I nodded, that made sense, with the memory, it fit now. She was my sister, of course.

“I was older than you?”

“No, we’re twins actually… why do you ask?”

“I think… I think I remember something—“ I was about to tell her when we both heard a scream from upstairs, a heartbroken scream, of a woman’s voice, followed by crying of Peter’s name.

Robyn’s face filled with sorrow, and like in that memory of that calm picnic, I just… wanted to hug her pain away.

“Amanda must have found out…” Robyn whispered, and when she looked back at me confused face, she answered my silent question. “Amanda is Jeffrinn’s coffer, she and Peter have been in a relationship for some time.”

“Oh! She’s the woman that came with him from the farm.” I remembered from Peter’s memories vaguely.

Robyn frowned, but nodded. I looked down at my feet, suddenly regretting my excitement at knowing.

“Did you know you were killing him?” Robyn asked quietly, steadily.

I looked up, meeting her familiar hard gaze, it was somehow both warm and cold, angry and sympathetic at the same time.

“Yes…” I wanted to say ‘I just don’t care’, but I didn’t think she would take that very well.

She sighed deeply, “do you understand why everyone is upset?”

“No.” I answered truthfully. For some reason I wasn’t scared of telling her, I wasn’t scared of her opinion. She was my sister, somehow I felt safer with her than with Jeffrinn, my own mate.

She wiped her face with her hand, “well, we’re living in a world where there is not much left. So there is not much left for humans to survive, so there isn’t much left for vampires to survive either. So vampires fight each other over the humans, over the land and territory. Especially when some vampires want to be… economic about it, and farm the humans like cows… keeping them in cages and pens. But others, like us, we… we know that we’re in this shit-show together, that we all deserve a good life. But just because we’re nicer doesn’t mean that humans are happy to let you feed off them. Doesn’t mean that there’s enough humans around to be enough in the first place…”

I could follow her logic, but part of my gut still struggled with the leap from keeping humans in cages and her assumption it was bad.

“So everyone here has made an agreement, to… help one another… and you… you just broke it.”

“But I didn’t know.”

“That doesn’t really excuse the fact that you literally murdered a man. A man we all knew and cared about.”

I shook my head, frustrated, “but he’s just human.”

Robyn frowned, her face twisting with anger, “You were human once too.”


	3. Chapter 3

They held a rushed funereal for Peter, after burying him in a shallow grave. I wasn’t exactly wanted, but not entirely allowed to leave. So I stood at the back, resting against the house wall, as Jeffrinn said a few words, then everyone dispersed again to pack.

I was put to the task of some packing, herded by Astra and Robyn, while everyone else avoided me.

Apparently we lived in quite a nice country house, surrounded by a bit of land, then fences. But that wasn’t enough to stop whoever it was that was coming our way. We packed minimal belongings, mostly water and food for the humans, and some weapons and clothes, into two large pick-up trucks. Somehow I ended sitting in the front, next to Robyn who was driving, with Astra, Klaus, and Spencer at the back. He was Astra’s coffer, and was sitting as far away from me as possible, with Astra sitting in the middle. It was obvious the only reason Klaus and Spencer agreed to be in the same car as me was that Astra was there. I didn’t dare ask why I was in a different car to Jeffrinn… because I felt like I knew.

We left at dawn, hoping that driving away through the scorching day will give us a bit of an advantage against the dead sisterhood following.

“Where… where are we going?” I asked after an hour of driving, as the sun started to rise and get more hot and painful. We were driving behind the other truck, and it was lucky the cars had darkened windows or we would all be burning. We were all wearing long sleeves and trousers, even though it was warm, and it became obvious it was to avoid sunburn.

“I’m not sure… Jeffrinn and Piper are probably arguing about it as we speak,” Robyn shrugged, and I turned to look over the horizon again.

From the brief memory I had of Robyn, I remembered trees and greenery. Somewhere in my brain I even remembered rain. But when I looked outside everything was dirt and dust, with small bushes, sometimes dry little trees. It was a desert, except for the fact that every so often I could see a heap of concrete or bricks somewhere where a building used to be.

“Are we in a dessert?”

Robyn didn’t answer straight away, so I looked back at Astra, and she shook her head. “No, this is just what the whole world is like now… well, at least this part. I think if you go south enough it becomes a tundra, covered with ice.”

I frowned, even though I didn’t have clear memories of anything, somehow that felt… wrong.

“What happened?”

“That’s the million dollar question,” Astra laughed, and I turned back to look forward.

It became frustrating to sit in the car, seeing the ground shift and knowing I could run faster. But I already argued this point before we started driving, and was told this was for the humans, for the things we need. But mostly it was to avoid burning in the sun, or to leave a track with our smell.

It was still annoying though.

I felt increasingly cooped up, and the more annoyed I became, the worse it got. I started shifting my weight, clutching my fist. I tried to open the window, but the function was disabled. I growled, and sat back again, closing my eyes. The pressure of the seat belt suddenly felt constraining, restrictive.

_~My arms and legs were cuffed to a chair, and my head was bound to the back. Everything was made of cold metal infused with Aconite, and its mere touch against my skin was unpleasant. But I couldn’t break out, because there was a collar around my neck and I could feel the little worms in my brain stretching out from it, holding my body back._

_“Let me ask this one more time… where is your lair?” The hunter was close in front, holding a gun aimed at my chest. The second he asked the question my brain launched to answer, but I bit my tongue with all my might and let the pain from the collar rise, and waited until it subsided again as the command lost its duration. But before it got there the hunter shot his bullet, point blank into my chest.~_

I clutched at my chest, a scream of pain escaping my lips as I woke back in the present. I could still feel the pain where he had shot me, even though there was no wound there, there hasn’t been for a long time. But I was panicked, and panting, I accidentally ripped the seatbelt apart before realising where I was.

“Shit! Cal? Cal!” Robyn was looking back and forth between the road and me, trying to drive, not sure what to do.

“Stop the car!” Astra said as she leaned forward, fumbling to see my face. But I still felt the pain, still felt the cuffs, the squirming in my brain, and as she tried to hold me down I cried and pushed myself away so hard that I fell out of the car with the door.

The sun was suddenly so hot and bright I covered my eyes, only then realising I was skidding on top of the loose door, as Robyn did an emergency stop and then reversed towards me.

I felt my skin starting to burn almost immediately, and tried to cover any part that was visible, but it was useless.

“Cal!” Robyn and Astra screamed, as they were still hiding in the shade of the car. But I was disoriented and confused, and soon Astra realised this, and jumped out.

She grabbed me and shoved me back into the truck, lifted the door and with force wedged it in the doorway so that it loosely covered the hole. It wasn’t perfect but it was better. Then she used her door to go back into the car and slam the door.

I was shaking, the pain from the burning slowly easing as my body healed, and a quick glance back at Astra I could see she was burnt too.

“What the fuck was that?!” Spencer shouted, and I sunk down in my seat to hide as Robyn drove away to catch up with the other truck.

“I’m sorry…” I mumbled, “I was… taken back somewhere…”

I shook my head trying to stop thinking about those feelings.

“You remembered something?” Robyn said, obviously still anxious. “What was it?”

“I… I was interrogated… well… tortured I think… they were trying to-“ I stopped mid sentence as I looked over at Robyn, and more pieces fell into place, little snippets of memories connecting to the one I just experienced to give it a little context. “They were trying to find out where father was hiding…”

She looked at me, eyes wide, then back at the road.

“Well at least it makes sense now.” Astra sighed, as she buckled herself in again. She didn’t seem mad at me, neither did Robyn. They were both just… concerned.

“I’m sorry for… the door, and making you go out in the sun…” I mumbled to Astra, but avoided looking at Stephen or Klaus. 

“Do you know how long ago that happened?” I turned to Robyn again. I wanted more context, more understanding between where we were now, and that horrid memory.

“I… I don’t know…” she swallowed, and glanced at me from the corner of her blue eye, “This is the first time I’m hearing of you being tortured.”

I opened my mouth, surprised, only to shut it again. I somehow assumed that, being my sister, she would know everything about me.

“Maybe Jeffrinn will know,” Klaus offered from behind me.

I looked at my hands. Did I want to ask him about this? I wasn’t sure. I knew he was my mate, that was indisputable… but I wasn’t sure what his reaction was going to be, wether he will expect me to suddenly remember other things too…

“Maybe…” I mumbled, and looked out the window again. Some sunshine came through the gaps where the door didn’t quite fit again, but I manage to avoid being burnt. I felt so bad that I broke something, again. Even if I didn’t feel bad for simply killing Peter, I felt bad overall for the damage I’d done, for constantly fucking up, from not remembering things, to not understanding the rules, to just simply fucking up and getting the whole door broken.

“No! We’re not going there!” Robyn was furious, shouting at Jeffrinn, who had his arms crossed over his chest. We had stopped, now that the sun was easing, letting the humans eat and drink while we reconnected and decided where to go next. I just climbed out of the back door of the car to find Robyn Jeffrinn and Piper arguing, but I was relieved that it wasn’t about how I broke the door.

“You know what Kori is like, she won’t just look over the way you left last time. And you know that she will use this to fuck with Cal. She might just take us hostage and use us to bargain with the sisterhood!” Robyn threw her arms in the air. She was pretty tall, but still shorter than Jeffrinn.

“Yeah, but there is no where else actually safe for miles other than Lakeside. What if we don’t go, and we run out of water and food. What then Robyn?” Jeffrinn was still, but he was not calm.

“I’d rather risk starvation than submitting to Kori.” She spat.

“Guys, calm down,” Astra interrupted, “this is no time for a fight. We need to stay united.”

“United?” scoffed Amanda, who was not far away, stepped closer, “what the fuck does that mean anymore?”

She then glared at me, even though I was quite far away for her human eyes, she still stared at me as if wishing me dead. Because of her obvious stare, Robyn and Jeffrinn turned to look at me too.

I felt like a deer in headlights, I couldn’t look away, but I had nothing to say, and I felt like any movement will only draw further attention to me. I wanted to run and hide from all this glaring, from all this feelings of shame, but I couldn’t even look away.

“No. Don’t blame this on him now.” Astra turned to Amanda, “he isn’t the reason we’re running.”

“No? I’m pretty sure that if it wasn’t for him and his obsession with proving his strength and morality the sisterhood wouldn’t be chasing us now. Not to mention that anything that we might have been promised is a fucking lie.” Amanda spat in my direction.

“Amanda…” Jeffrinn put a hand on her shoulder, trying to turn her away, or calm her. She was his coffer, she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to, and she obviously trusted him because of this, like how Klaus seemed to still… not hate me like everyone else. But she pushed his hand off her and stormed off towards the other truck.

“Shit, that was some deep cuts.”

I jumped, not realising Piper was right next to me, somehow having stalked her way in my direction while I was occupied by the fight.

“Not that you understand half of them I assume.” She looked up at me, eyes somehow full of anger and empathy at the same time.

“I… I guess I don’t.”

“Gosh, you are just an overgrown baby right now.” She chuckled dryly, “god help us all.”

I appreciated her humour, and the fact that she didn’t simply hate me for killing Peter… but there was some patronising in her voice that made me uncomfortable.

Jeffrinn finally made his way over, and then noticed the broken door on the car. “What… when did that happen?”

I guess I might as well tell him. When he was close it was like my whole body yearned for him, made me relax a little.

“I… I kind of panicked…” I scratched the back of my head, and if I was human I would have blushed.

“Panicked?”

“Yeah, he ended up pushing himself out of the car… took the door with him, while we were driving…” Astra joined in, having made her way back.

He simply looked at me in question, not verbalising it, but it was clear to me that he wanted an explanation. His face was so young - he was so young, physically, he looked only 18, maybe 20. But I knew that I looked much older. I wonder if that was ever a problem.

“Being cooped up in the car… it made me remember a stressful situation…” for some reason I really didn’t want to divulge it. For once I felt like I knew something that others didn’t.

But I needed to know more, I needed to know if Jeffrinn knew of it.

“I was being tortured, by a human hunter. He was trying to find out where… where my ‘lair’ was.” I put the word lair with air quotes, “but I don’t know when it was or why… I… I was wondering if you knew?” I stretched out my arm to him with the palm out in question, but then retreated quickly. I was still nervous he might lunge at me again.

He sighed, “Out of everything, that’s one thing I would wish on anyone to be able to forget. But I guess that’s too much to hope for.”

“So you know what happened?”

“Of course I know… here, let me show you.” He stepped closer, and bit his thumb gently, then offered the couple drops of blood that collected on it before the wound closed, up to my lips. 

Piper and Astra, noticing something the privacy needed, left us alone.

I understood what he was doing. He had focused so that specific memories were in those drops of blood, knowing that if I drink them I’ll be able to see exactly what he remembered, rather than him having to explain.

But this… this was more private than anything I could think of. And he was _offering_ it to me freely, his blood.

If I was still alive, I would have blushed.

I parted my lips slightly, accepting his offer, and he wiped his thumb over my tongue.

Before I could react to the sensation of his thumb in my mouth, the memories from his blood hit me.

In a quick series of images and pure information, I saw myself in that chair, bloodied and riddled with holes and cuts, and I saw how Jeffrinn ripped those chains apart, and how we arrived back at home — where both my father and his grandfather were talking over a table with a map. I understood. I was captured in a raid of a hunters headquarters, way back before the world ended and humans still had the upper hand. It was almost a hundred years ago.

I blinked, and Jeffrinn took his thumb back, as I swallowed.

“Shit.” I put my hand over my eyes for a second, “Wait, How… how old are we?”

“It’s been almost 52 years since the world went to shit, so the year now is technically 2036…” he frowned, counting in his head, “So you’re going to be 133 this year, and I’m 152.” He paused, “does that… help?”

I shrugged, “a little.”

After more arguing, it was decided that some of us will go to Lakeside City, while the rest will stay far away, so that if things go sour they can still move on.

Now I was standing in front of Jeffrinn a couple miles away from the makeshift camp.

“I’m sorry, but I have to do this… regardless of wether you stay or not, we need to know how much of your fighting skills you can remember…” He peeled his coat off, then his shirt, and placed them carefully on the dusty ground. I couldn’t help myself but stare at his shaped, young body, with soft caramel skin. Maybe it made sense that he was my mate, if I found him so instantly attractive, or maybe I wanted him only because he was my mate. It was impossible to tell.

I copied him, undressing my top half. It wasn’t scolding anymore, now that the sun was gone. I could feel the temperature was dropping rapidly, but at least until it reached below zero it didn’t really make a difference for our undead bodies.

“You say that as if you know you’re going to win,” I smirked, flashing my fangs.

He laughed, “I was going to start easy, but I guess not.”

Before he even finished his breath he sprinted the short distance between us, body low, hands wide. I understood immediately he was going to try and charge my mid-half and put me on the ground. It made sense, once I was on the ground it would be easier to keep me there. So I had to avoid this at all costs.

I dug my feet in the ground, wider, one slightly behind the other, and bent lower to catch his assault. He was overall smaller than me, so I assumed if I just held my ground he won’t topple me over so easily. But just before we collided he twisted, and let himself lie on the ground and slide right between my legs. I was so shocked by his change of tactic I didn’t realise he grabbed my ankle until he stood up behind me, pulling my foot with him, and making my land face-first in the ground.

I tried to turn on my back to avoid being pinned face-front, but he wasn’t about pinning me down, because he didn’t want a conversation. Instead, he used his advantage to kick me right in the skull.

He wasn’t lying about not holding back, his kick sent me six feet across the ground. He then ran to catch up with me, hand out, nails ready to tear my neck open, or tear my head off. But this time some instincts kicked within me, and I managed to grab his wrist, then without thinking, I grabbed his elbow, stuck my foot in his stomach and flipped him over me, slamming him into the ground.

My head was ringing, and the dirt got in my eyes, making them hurt and everything turn blurry, but I still managed to turn and get on my feet.

We were again face to face, but I didn’t wait for him to attack this time. I reached out, using my long arms, and as he leaned back to try and avoid my hand reaching his face, I took half a step forward and grabbed his belt, then with full force as I pulled him towards me, I used my other hand, outstretched like a dagger, to go as deep as it got into his stomach.

He gasped in pain, and as our eyes met I realised I went too far.

My hands shaking, I took it out of his body, and helped him to sit down on the ground. “Shit shit shit, I’m so sorry… I…” I didn’t know what to say.

“Well, I guess you remember more than I thought.” He chuckled, putting his hands over his stomach and breathing in gently.

He was healing fast, of course this was no where near a death wound, but it was still substantial.

“How can you find this funny?! I just hurt you!” I was shaking, distressed. Out of everyone here he was the only one I was sure about not wanting to hurt. And after earlier…

He looked up, reached one bloody hand and grabbed the side of my face and pulled me in to a kiss.

My guard was completely down, and I forgot everything except the fact that this felt so, so right, and I kissed him back for a second, before realising what we were doing and pulled away.

“Why did you do that?” I was standing up, safe distance away from his reach, from his lips. I didn’t like how lost I got there… it was scary to be so deeply mated that I forgot about myself, it made me feel helpless and powerless, and I didn’t actually know and trust him enough for that to be a good feeling.

He sighed, and pushed himself to his feet, “sorry, old habits die hard. I forgot you’re not… used to it currently.”

I looked away, because I didn’t know how to explain how uncomfortable that made me. The fact that he assumed that I felt things that I didn’t… just because I did once.

“Cal—“ he started, but before he got to say anything else Astra and Piper ran up.

“We smelt Jeffrinn’s blood, so we came to check—“ Astra started, then saw Jeffrinn’s state and drew in a sharp breath.

“Damn!” Piper whistled, “I guess Calvin still remembers how to fight.”

“Only instinctively… I didn’t know how to stop…” I walked and picked up my shirt and coat, getting dressed quickly.

“Trust me, not a lot of people can get their hands on Jeff, this means that you definitely remember shit.” Piper was smiling, “I guess it means we can’t discount him after all.” She looked at Astra, who shot back an angry look as she gave Jeff his shirt and coat. He took it and wiped his blood with his shirt before putting only his coat on. He stood up straight again, his shoulders wide, as if the weight of the world was on them, and he looked at me with that pain again— the pain that he showed when I first woke up like this— as if my lack of reciprocity was tearing out his heart. So I looked away.


	4. Chapter 4

I could smell Jeffrinn feeding from Amanda even though I was almost 5 miles away. I sat in the car, grabbing my legs so hard my nails dug into my skin through my trousers. I focused on the pain, trying to distract myself from the smell of the blood. It was only bearable because Amanda _smelt_ of Jeffrinn so much it wasn’t as appealing as someone fresh. Physically I knew that she wasn’t mine to feed off. Like I somehow knew Klaus wasn’t to be killed. Somehow a coffer that had been fed off long enough had changed physically enough that they smelt of their vampire, and didn’t smell just like pray anymore.

I sighed, gritting my teeth to force my fangs to stay in. I was hungry again, but I knew that if I even hinted at it to anyone they would be mad at me again.

The driver door opened, and Astra climbed in. She looked me up and down, “you’ll get used to it, being a little hungry all the time…”

I grunted, “I can’t see that happening.”

“I know, but trust me, you’ve done it before, you can do it again.”

“Can people stop saying that?!” I almost punched the door out again, so I took a deep breath to steady myself, “Can everyone stop saying shit like that? It doesn’t help to know that I knew things once, that I was this amazing _Calvin_. I can’t remember those things, so I don’t know them, and I can’t just will myself back to this version of myself that I don’t even know!”

She bit her lip, “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.”

I sighed, and ran my fingers through my hair, “I’m sorry I shouted…”

“No, you’re right. It’s shit to be compared to impossible standards, I know how it feels.”

“Thanks…”

Lakeside city was more impressive than I expected.

It was called a city for a reason. It was obviously a city before the world ended, but it was renovated as well as maintained. The whole city was covered with an immense dome to keep the sun and radiation out.

When Jeffrinn, Astra and I arrived at the main gate we were stopped by two vampiric guards with heavy guns, and then lead on foot for twenty minutes between buildings until we arrived at what obviously was the town hall. I somehow expected clean desks and offices when we stepped in, but instead it was full of couches and clothes everywhere, and the smell of blood and sex was almost overwhelming.

This might have been the town hall still, but it was obviously a brothel. As we were led through it I could hear people feeding and fucking in all the rooms that used to be offices.

I wasn’t exactly against any of it, but it was still overwhelming.

We finally arrived at a room that I could only describe as a throne room. At the other end from us was a small stage, and on it an impressive chair. In it sat a fair, beautiful vampire with eyes that felt like knives. She had long black hair that was being braided by a human girl no older than 16, and on each of her arms sat another young person, one of them a gorgeous man with skin almost as dark as her hair. The vampire had one hand in the young man’s hair, and the other she was holding a glass of what smelled like wine, but was obviously made from blood.

This was all set up so particularly, to show anyone arriving exactly how much wealth she had, how much power, that she could afford having so many just to herself.

“Well well well… look what we have here,” she chimed as we walked in, and after a sip from her glass gave it to the girl next to her to hold.

I could smell the adrenaline in every human in the room, they were all terrified. I wasn’t sure if I was excited or abhorred by that.

“Hello Kori, I see you keep yourself comfortable as ever,” Jeffrinn said, looking around in a gesture to everything in the room.

“Just because you decided to live in squalor doesn’t mean others do.” She clicked her fingers and the two vampires that brought us here locked the door behind us. I noticed then that they were wearing collars, and I violently remembered how it felt to have one digging in my brain, so I looked away back to Kori to avoid another panic flashback.

“So what brings you to my domain? Why bother coming for a visit after you left on such… terms.”

God I wished I had my memory right then. I felt like not knowing the past of this situation was dangerous.

“We need sanctuary.” Jeffrinn didn’t waste time buttering it up.

Kori laughed, a clear, sharp HA. 

“You?! Need sanctuary?! After all the bullshit you gave me to leave you alone? Why the fuck do you need _my_ help? What, you managed to get the fucking dead sisterhood on your ass?”

Jeffrinn didn’t answer, he just raised an eyebrow.

“Holy shit.” Kori was leaning forward, her face showing genuine surprise, but almost amusement, “so you really are desperate.”

“So will you help us or not?”

She leaned back again, and pulled the girl’s face, holding her chin, looking at her as if eyeing a painting, musing. She was trying so hard to give an air as if no one could hurry her, and honestly, it was working on me.

But somewhere in the back of my head I had the faintest feeling that she wasn’t as intimidating as she was letting on, that her own power wasn’t that great in itself, it was the fact she had control of many other vampires, and that she was never hungry, that meant she would overpower us.

“Why should I help you?” She pushed the girl away, as if loosing interest, but the girl was so weak and small that she fell on the floor.

It was so fucking hard being in a room with so many humans and containing myself. But I promised everyone I won’t let on that I’ve lost my memory, it was the only reason I was allowed to come in the first place. As a tool of intimidation… if I only kept my mouth shut.

“Why should I risk an outright war with the dead sisterhood? For what? A handful of vampires? We’re already overpopulated, what makes you and yours so different?” Kori kept going, crossing her hands over her chest.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know us,” Jeffrinn rolled his eyes, “if we were just like anyone else, we wouldn’t have been admitted to see you in the first place.”

“I was intrigued, wanted to know why you dared show your faces.” She shrugged.

Jeffrinn sighed, then shot me a look full of apology and guilt, before he turned to Kori again, “What if I told you we had a half-vampire to offer?”

“What?” My voice was louder than I expected, but I had half a mind to punch him right then. Was he just, offering Robyn up for slaughter? Was her life worth less to him than Peter? A fucking human?!

“Hey, calm down,” Astra whispered and put a hand on my shoulder, shooting me a warning glare.

I bit my tongue. I knew there was more to this situation than I understood. I knew it was too important for me to fuck things up now. But this was my sister they were talking about… I couldn’t just ignore that? Were they thinking she was lesser than human? It didn’t seem that way when we were all together.

Kori whistled, impressed, “some tension I see.” She leaned her cheek on her fist, her elbow resting on the arm rest.

“I know you have your fascinations. I know you have your experiments,” Jeffrinn stepped closer to her, not even looking back at me, his palms facing up, pleading. “If you let us take refuge here for the foreseeable future, until we can find somewhere safe, or the sisterhood forgets about us, then you can meet a real halfling.” He paused, “but then you let us leave when we want. And I mean all of us.”

Kori frowned, and smacked her lips, “well if you want my protection, you will have to follow my rules. And I mean _all_ of them.”

“So you will give us sanctuary?”

“If you bring me this halfling.”

“And I have your word we will be allowed to leave unharmed?”

“If you give me this halfling.”

“Give? Kori I’m not selling her to you.”

“Oh it’s a she? That’s exciting!”

Jeffrinn just stared at her, fuming.

“If you want this protection, that’s my price.”

“What do you plan to do with her?”

“Are you fucking serious?!” I interrupted, and pushed Astra’s arm off me as I walked to Jeffrinn, “Are you actually using Robyn as a bargaining chip?!”

“Cal, not now.” Jeffrinn turned his back to me, “Kori, what do you intend to do?”

I was about to jump on him, bite his face off, for the hutzpa of ignoring me, but Astra grabbed my wrist again and pulled me back, this time hard enough that I noticed, and as Kori started to speak I forced myself to calm.

I’ll get him later.

“I want to get to know her, that’s all. I want to see how she’s made…” then she leaned forward again, and this time instead of talking to Jeffrinn she looked right at me, “I want to make her my little pet, then see if I can make some more like it.”

I roared, seeing red, and started to charge at her stupid throne. But Jeffrinn was closer, and he got there first. He grabbed Kori by the throat, and the two vampires by the doors ran to try and get him, and I sensed the threat coming from behind and re-directed my anger at them, I slammed the closer one into the wall so hard it made the room shake. Astra pinned down the other one to the ground.

“Don’t forget who you’re dealing with,” Jeffrinn growled into Kori’s face, but she was grinning.

“in two minutes this room will be filled with vampires and you won’t stand a chance.”

“Maybe, but you’ll already be dead.”

“I thought you wanted my help, dear friend.” She said sweetly, but he just squeezed her throat harder in return. The vampire I held was squirming, trying to get out, but he was young, probably only a vampire for a couple of years, so I just ignored him while still holding him against the wall. Watching Jeffrinn was more important.

“I do, that’s why you’re still alive, dear Kori. Now promise you will let all of us go when we wish, including Robyn. Promise you won’t collar her like you have half of this city.” 

I heard people, vampires, approaching the locked doors, heard them running down the corridor.

“Promise.” Jeffrinn said again, his nails digging deep into Kori’s neck.

“I promise.” She managed to say with her squeezed windpipe, and as soon as she did Jeffrinn let go, and was back at the spot he was before, off the stage.

I let go of the vampire guard, and went back to stand next to Jeffrinn, as did Astra.

The door burst open and twenty vampires rushed in, looking around for the threat, but seeing everything normal, they loitered at the door.

Kori looked at her nails, as if this was of no importance, as if nothing happened, and I realised she had to maintain a mask of strength for her own safety.

“We’ll be back before dawn.” Jeffrinn nodded, “thank you for your generosity.” 

Kori just waved him away, as if he was a fly, “sure sure. But bring me my payment.”

I gritted my teeth, but let Jeffrinn lead as we walked outside of the silly throne room.


End file.
